Head like a sieve…

I could have sworn I posted this days ago. But I didn’t. So I’ll do it now, before I forget again.

My last post, one very wee poem aside, was about The Gluten-Free Trio and the launch of our Carry on Regardless show. While I’ve posted to say what a resounding success it was  (“sellout” and “packed to the gunnels” are both accurate descriptions!) on the OFFICIAL WEBSITE. I forgot to do the same here.

Rather than repeating myself I would ask readers to click the link for full details, but will take this opportunity to apologise for our tardiness in getting the promised new showreel up. Basically I’ve been inundated with “stuff”, and I’ve also been sulking a little and procrastinating because fate dealt us another below-the-belt blow as far as recording quality went. We really must at some point set up a proper camera and tripod to capture the full magnificence of our performance, but the downside of our lovely-but-compact-and-bijou fave venue is that, erm, it’s compact and bijou. In essence, by the time you’ve packed it to the gunnels with punters there’s not much room left even for filming on a phone, and even then the footage you manage to grab is likely to be interrupted by people passing by with drinks or nibbles, or just laughing so long and loud that it pushes the needle into the red and causes clipping.    Continue reading “Head like a sieve…”


The Gluten-Free Trio

A big night out in Lovely Tunbridge Wells

I think I hinted about this around Christmas time, but – a month later than originally planned, for all kinds of reasons – the cat is finally ready to be released from the bag: The Gluten-Free Trio is about to launch!

For a while now, co-conspirator Peppy Scott and I have been doing our thang as performance poets at various events and venues, but as I mentioned in the summer this had broadened out a little to include monologues, sketches and skits, and songs. Writing the songs was easy – well the lyrics anyway – but as neither of us can play an instrument we were a bit stymied as far as performing them went. I had a couple of outings singing “Acapulco”, and dear ol’ Tom Carradine did wonders with accompaniments for a few of the tunes as a personal favour, but we really needed a musician to complete our little gang. And then we met David – who we had actually met over a year before singing a song about his nervous bladder at TW Forum – and the die, as they say, was cast.

So, after several outings at open mics and stuff we’re now ready to take centre stage with our own little evening called Carry On Regardless, which will take flight on March 7th at Scallywag Cafe and Wine Bar in lovely Tunbridge Wells. The evening will be a mix of humour, music and words, the music almost exclusively original although some tunes might seem a little familiar, particularly in our ‘singalong’ section. To vary the pace a little (and to allow those suffering laughter-induced burst stomachs time to recover) we’ll also be doing a few carefully chosen covers, and inviting friends to add their own contributions as guest artistes. All that for a fiver – it’s a bargain, already!

I’ll post more later – including details about how we got our name and why the evening is so named – and will also soon link to our “official” website. I’ve just got to make the thing…

Well, exciting times, and certainly keeping the three of us busy for the next few weeks as we rehearse our little butts off and learn how to set up our PA system without electrocuting ourselves. It would be lovely if some of you could make it along for our maiden flight – just click the poster below to go to Scallywag’s booking page…


Toilet Humour

A bit misleading, the title of this one, but it is humorous (well, meant to be, but with a bit of “poignant” thrown in for good measure) and it does take place in a toilet, so what the hey. The toilet in question is that of a restaurant where our protagonist is holed up contemplating the folly of his actions and sharing his thoughts with us in monologue. I wrote it for a recent Read Your Words evening, where it went down rather well. I’m hoping it also works well on paper (well, screen), and I may at some point get around to uploading it as a sound file, along with other similar offerings. Please note the views of my monologue characters are not necessarily mine, so if you take the hump at anything the ol’ fella says don’t take it out on me…

Oh god, another bloody disaster. I tell you, I’m not cut out for this internet dating bollocks. Whatever happened to just meeting someone in a pub and getting talking? These days, if you say hello to a woman in a pub she looks at you as though you’ve crapped in her handbag. Or maybe that’s just me?

Maybe it’s an age thing? I mean most women my age are either married or dragging around so much baggage they assume any bloke saying more than two words to them is only after one thing. That, or they’re on a girls’ night out and just want a bellyful of Pinot Grigio and a good old moan about their husbands or boyfriends. Or exes. Continue reading “Toilet Humour”

I don’t very often post pics of myself…

… because not only does THE CAMERA LIE, but it tells particularly nasty whoppers where me poemI am concerned. However, this one was taken of me reading one of me poems at Tonbridge Calling yesterday and apart from the colour cast from the grass it wasn’t too awful, so I thought weeeeeeeeell…

Anyway, that was me reading yesterday, and more of the same will be happening again next Sunday at the same location for Invite a Tree for Tea. Hopefully they’ll get a pic of my much-easier-on-the-eye poetry partner in crime, Peppy Scott, too!

Between now and then I will also be doing my stuff indoors at the Forum in Tunbridge Wells, as support for three time world champion spoken word artist, Buddy Wakefield. THREE TIMES you say? He must be a bit good then… Gotta be worth a looksee (‘listenee’), ennit…



Well, I did say that another blog would be along shortly. I dunno, you wait for ages and then three come along at once… YOU LUCKY PEOPLE!

Anyhow, the reason for this sudden spate of blogs is that I’ve recently been doing more performance stuff, and as I’ve got a fair bit coming up over the next month or so I thought you might appreciate a heads-up. Continue reading “ANOTHER one?”