Toilet Humour

A bit misleading, the title of this one, but it is humorous (well, meant to be, but with a bit of “poignant” thrown in for good measure) and it does take place in a toilet, so what the hey. The toilet in question is that of a restaurant where our protagonist is holed up contemplating the folly of his actions and sharing his thoughts with us in monologue. I wrote it for a recent Read Your Words evening, where it went down rather well. I’m hoping it also works well on paper (well, screen), and I may at some point get around to uploading it as a sound file, along with other similar offerings. Please note the views of my monologue characters are not necessarily mine, so if you take the hump at anything the ol’ fella says don’t take it out on me…

Oh god, another bloody disaster. I tell you, I’m not cut out for this internet dating bollocks. Whatever happened to just meeting someone in a pub and getting talking? These days, if you say hello to a woman in a pub she looks at you as though you’ve crapped in her handbag. Or maybe that’s just me?

Maybe it’s an age thing? I mean most women my age are either married or dragging around so much baggage they assume any bloke saying more than two words to them is only after one thing. That, or they’re on a girls’ night out and just want a bellyful of Pinot Grigio and a good old moan about their husbands or boyfriends. Or exes. Continue reading “Toilet Humour”

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I don’t very often post pics of myself…

… because not only does THE CAMERA LIE, but it tells particularly nasty whoppers where me poemI am concerned. However, this one was taken of me reading one of me poems at Tonbridge Calling yesterday and apart from the colour cast from the grass it wasn’t too awful, so I thought weeeeeeeeell…

Anyway, that was me reading yesterday, and more of the same will be happening again next Sunday at the same location for Invite a Tree for Tea. Hopefully they’ll get a pic of my much-easier-on-the-eye poetry partner in crime, Peppy Scott, too!

Between now and then I will also be doing my stuff indoors at the Forum in Tunbridge Wells, as support for three time world champion spoken word artist, Buddy Wakefield. THREE TIMES you say? He must be a bit good then… Gotta be worth a looksee (‘listenee’), ennit…

 

ANOTHER one?

Well, I did say that another blog would be along shortly. I dunno, you wait for ages and then three come along at once… YOU LUCKY PEOPLE!

Anyhow, the reason for this sudden spate of blogs is that I’ve recently been doing more performance stuff, and as I’ve got a fair bit coming up over the next month or so I thought you might appreciate a heads-up. Continue reading “ANOTHER one?”

Going for a Song…

This is the first of three – possibly four – connected blogs coming up over the next few days. It was originally written as a standalone blog a couple of months ago, but I forgot to post it! It’s not completely relevant to the other two (or three), but may save a bit of explanation later on, which can only be a good thing…

Not something I ever thought I would find myself saying, but I’ve been taking singing lessons. My next one is on Monday next week, and that’ll be about half a dozen or so under my belt.

The reason I never thought I’d say ‘I’ve been taking singing lessons,’ is because I never thought I’d ever be singing outside of my own bathroom, but it only goes to show that you shouldn’t go making glib assumptions about things. That said, I don’t have a need for singing lessons, I just want to do it. And here’s why. Continue reading “Going for a Song…”

Hello again…

Last time I was here I mentioned UNFEST, a weekend of  free music and art that unfolds over several venues in Tunbridge Wells throughout the May Bank Holiday weekend. For me Unfest kicked off last night with a reading night (Read Your Words for Unfest) at Javabean cafe. I would have loved to have gone on to the first night launch party at The Forum, but alas my son had to get up for college so a late one wasn’t on the cards. We will make up for that tonight.

Talking of cards*, I also mentioned ‘Postcards from the Hedge’ – an interactive project asking visitors to Unfest to post messages – poetry, art, flash fiction, whatever – for us to share throughout the weekend. This year there are three ‘postboxes’ – one at Javabean, one at The Forum, and one at the Library and Art Gallery. If you’re passing, pick up a card, grab a pen and drop us a line. A small selection of last year’s postcards were used to make a promotional video:

Continue reading “Hello again…”