Toilet Humour

A bit misleading, the title of this one, but it is humorous (well, meant to be, but with a bit of “poignant” thrown in for good measure) and it does take place in a toilet, so what the hey. The toilet in question is that of a restaurant where our protagonist is holed up contemplating the folly of his actions and sharing his thoughts with us in monologue. I wrote it for a recent Read Your Words evening, where it went down rather well. I’m hoping it also works well on paper (well, screen), and I may at some point get around to uploading it as a sound file, along with other similar offerings. Please note the views of my monologue characters are not necessarily mine, so if you take the hump at anything the ol’ fella says don’t take it out on me…

Oh god, another bloody disaster. I tell you, I’m not cut out for this internet dating bollocks. Whatever happened to just meeting someone in a pub and getting talking? These days, if you say hello to a woman in a pub she looks at you as though you’ve crapped in her handbag. Or maybe that’s just me?

Maybe it’s an age thing? I mean most women my age are either married or dragging around so much baggage they assume any bloke saying more than two words to them is only after one thing. That, or they’re on a girls’ night out and just want a bellyful of Pinot Grigio and a good old moan about their husbands or boyfriends. Or exes. Continue reading “Toilet Humour”

Advertisements

I don’t very often post pics of myself…

… because not only does THE CAMERA LIE, but it tells particularly nasty whoppers where me poemI am concerned. However, this one was taken of me reading one of me poems at Tonbridge Calling yesterday and apart from the colour cast from the grass it wasn’t too awful, so I thought weeeeeeeeell…

Anyway, that was me reading yesterday, and more of the same will be happening again next Sunday at the same location for Invite a Tree for Tea. Hopefully they’ll get a pic of my much-easier-on-the-eye poetry partner in crime, Peppy Scott, too!

Between now and then I will also be doing my stuff indoors at the Forum in Tunbridge Wells, as support for three time world champion spoken word artist, Buddy Wakefield. THREE TIMES you say? He must be a bit good then… Gotta be worth a looksee (‘listenee’), ennit…

 

Tea with a Tree? Goodness me!

Hello again…

MR HUMOURVERSE RECOLORIf you read the last few blogs you’ll know that I’m going to be quite busy over the next month or so “doing some of me poems” (to paraphrase Ms Ayres). Not the update I mentioned in my previous post (hopefully coming soon!), but an additional date now added for Sunday 20th, when I and a few poetry friends will be adding our support to Invite a Tree to Tea on River Lawn in Tonbridge.  This is a one day community event with music and arts to campaign against riverside development on green space – green space I very much treasured as a child and which my own son also enjoyed exploring.

So that’s…

Tonbridge Calling on Saturday August 12th (tomorrow as I type),

Word Up with THREE TIMES WORLD SLAM CHAMPION Buddy Wakefield on Wednesday August 16th, and

Invite a Tree for Tea on Sunday August 20th

I / We would love(ly)2CU there…

Design elements from Freepik

 

ANOTHER one?

Well, I did say that another blog would be along shortly. I dunno, you wait for ages and then three come along at once… YOU LUCKY PEOPLE!

Anyhow, the reason for this sudden spate of blogs is that I’ve recently been doing more performance stuff, and as I’ve got a fair bit coming up over the next month or so I thought you might appreciate a heads-up. Continue reading “ANOTHER one?”

Going for a Song…

This is the first of three – possibly four – connected blogs coming up over the next few days. It was originally written as a standalone blog a couple of months ago, but I forgot to post it! It’s not completely relevant to the other two (or three), but may save a bit of explanation later on, which can only be a good thing…

Not something I ever thought I would find myself saying, but I’ve been taking singing lessons. My next one is on Monday next week, and that’ll be about half a dozen or so under my belt.

The reason I never thought I’d say ‘I’ve been taking singing lessons,’ is because I never thought I’d ever be singing outside of my own bathroom, but it only goes to show that you shouldn’t go making glib assumptions about things. That said, I don’t have a need for singing lessons, I just want to do it. And here’s why. Continue reading “Going for a Song…”