A Poem for Gwyneth Paltrow

A very strange news item just popped up in my Twitter feed regarding a new line added to the Goop product range…

She sent a scented candle
I’m not sure of the scent
But it’s vaguely reminiscent
Of a penny I once spent

——

Continuing this line of thought, and ever the entrepreneur, I’m now thinking of seeking crowdfunding for my own range of nob-scented tea / night lights (provisionally named ‘Noblights’). Of course, I’ m under no illusions regarding the desirability of a product featuring my own particular musk (delightful though it is, given that I douse it daily in a rosewater and lemon infusion of my own concoction: think ‘Turkish Delight” and you won’t be too far off the mark), BUT…

NoblightLADIES: In the interests of market research, which male celebrity’s Old Chap would you most be interested in sniffing, and how much would you be willing to pay for the privilege?  Is there an old flame you would like to rekindle, and do you associate him with a particular aftershave? The image featured here is a prototype, but the final product will be available in a full range of skin tones and sizes. Commissions now being taken*

* All casting costs to be paid by client and at owner’s risk

 

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