Beans, Beans…

Well it’s a Linky Monday again and in the usual spirit of killing several birds with one stone I’ll be delivering the same blog in a variety of different places. Talking of (57) varieties, I was thinking about this month’s ‘Childhood’ theme for Motivational Monday and remembered some kids’ poems I’d written a while back based on that old playground classic ‘Beans, Beans…’ You’ll note that all variations serve up, effectively, the same joke/punchline, but it’s a punchline of which children never seem to tire, so what the heck?

Which variety do you prefer? And, yes, I probably did have too much time on my hands…

Beans Beans
(Trad. Version + First Inversion]

Beans, beans [they’re good for your heart / the musical fruit]
The more you eat the more you [fart/toot]
The more you [fart/toot] the better you feel
So let’s eat beans for every meal

Beans Beans
(New Strains)

Beans, Beans, they can’t be beat
Piled on toast – a lovely treat
With lashings of ketchup and bubbly cheese

But open the window, If you please.


Beans, Beans, the grub I adore
Give me some quick, then give me some more
Give me a mountain of lovely beans
A peg for my nose and some reinforced jeans


Beans, Beans, the best of all food
Incredibly tasty, incredibly rude
I’ve eaten them once on the roof in the nude…
But the less said about that the better…


Beans, Beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
Mix ‘em all up in a vindaloo
And when you toot you’ll follow through


Beans, Beans, they come in a tin
They’re good for your hair and they’re good for your skin
They’re good for your body, they’re good for your mind
But not in a queue for the person behind.


Beans,Beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
So get two friends and toot some chords
My goodness – how the crowd applauds!


And last but in no way least, DOUBLE PORTIONS…

beansBeans, Beans, they come in a tin
They help you keep healthy, and help you stay thin*
They’re packed full of protein and vitamin B
And dirty-great tins only cost forty pee
You’ll find them in Tescos, and Sainsburys and Spars
In Fortnum and Masons in porcelain jars
They sell ‘em in Harrods, in M&S too
So posh people like ‘em as much as we do
By Royal Appointment they’ve even been seen 
At Buckingham Palace where served to the Queen
Who eats them for breakfast when Kedgeree’s off
Or there’s not enough kippers or kidneys to scoff
They get her day off to a cracking good start
With proteins and vitamins good for the heart
And when the time comes for the wind to depart
She just blames the corgis for any stray fart…

* Beans can only aid weight loss as part of a calorie controlled diet.


4 thoughts on “Beans, Beans…”

  1. The one I grew up with was and my favorite.

    Beans beans good for the heart.
    The more you eat.
    The more you fart!

    Didnt know there were that many variations. Something to tell my eldest lol

    1. There weren’t that many variations! I only knew of the original two but made up the rest when I had too much time on my hands and was trying to entertain my son! Thanks for comment 🙂

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